


Of Kisses and Catastrophes

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e18 17 People, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-01
Updated: 2004-12-01
Packaged: 2019-05-30 16:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15101048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: I don't expect you could find any funny tonight.





	Of Kisses and Catastrophes

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: Of Kisses and Catastrophes

Author: Mairi

Pairing: Josh/Donna

Category: Romance, Angst, Post-Ep, Donna POV

Rating: PG

Spoilers: 17 People, but anything's fair game.

Summary: "I don't expect you could find any funny tonight."

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor claim any rights to Aaron Sorkin's West Wing. (I'm still in denial that he's no longer there).

A/N: Okay, so you're probably going "another 17 People?!" but please bear with me. And for a heads-up I've tweaked the timeline to suit my own purposes.

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"Thanks for taking me ba-"

I'm nearly past him when his arm shoots out from his side and snakes its way around my waist. I let myself be slowly pulled back around so that I'm standing toe-to-toe with him, our bodies mere inches from each other. Seeing what must be the puzzled look on my face, he

smiles- a real smile, not a smirk- lightly places his hands on my hips, and kisses me.

On the lips.

He wasn't lying when he said he got a 760 verbal. I knew there was a reason why I put up with that mouth of his!

When our need for oxygen overcomes our growing need for each other, we break apart, though our foreheads are still touching. We're both breathing pretty heavily, but he manages to say, "Thanks for coming back."

I'm at a loss as to how I'm supposed to respond. Joshua Lyman, the White House Deputy Chief of Staff, who just so happens to be the man that I'm in love with, not to mention my boss, just kissed me, Donnatella Moss, the Deputy Deputy White House Chief of Staff. This is

bad on so many levels. I mean, I have flash cards, 32 very detailed flashcards, describing just how very bad this is and why it should never, ever, be allowed to happen- ever.

So I guess that's pretty much shot to hell.

As if reading my mind, which, as Josh once pointed out, we seem to do fairly often, he leans in and kisses me again.

And again.

And again.

And a-

"JOUSHUA LYMAN YOU HARVARD-FASCIST-ELITIST-YANKEE-IDIOT!"

Uh-oh.      

CJ's standing in front of us, hands on her hips and looking like she's about to unleash a serious can of whup-ass. I try to put some distance between Josh and me, but as I pull away my back connects solidly with threshold of his office doorway. How did that happen? Josh, seeing

this, gives me a patented smirk and re-wraps his arm firmly around my waist.

Does he have a death wish?!

CJ takes this all in before springing into action. Lunging towards Josh, she grabs him by the ear and steers him into his office. Josh, wincing and howling, pulls me in with him. 

After letting go of his ear, CJ slams his door and then circles around his desk to stand behind his chair. Glaring at us, she launches into her tirade. "ARE YOU TWO NUTS?"

"CJ-" Josh tries to cut her off. Stupid man.

"HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MINDS?!" CJ shouts right over him. "You were making out with your assistant in a West Wing hallway- a hallway, I might add, which is just a hop skip and a jump away from THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORPS!"

"What, you would've preferred us to do it inside my office?" Josh shoots back.

I can only stare open-mouthed at him in abject horror.

CJ however, pins him with a glare that would turn even Leo into a quivering bowl of jell-o. She opens her mouth to speak again, but Josh cuts her off, now thoroughly riled up.

"I'm sick of this!" he exclaims, his voice tight with disgust as he starts to pace around his office, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I'm just, I'm just sick of this. What's so wrong with me kissing my assistant, huh? Oh that's right- because once the Republicans catch wind of this they'll be jumping on our backs shouting "sex scandal" at the top of their lungs. Then they'd take us out for a walk of shame, all the while mudslinging accusations and insinuations. Mary Marsh would love this- she'd be on every major network before you could say "holier than thou." And let's not forget the press. Our personal lives would become fodder for gossip columnists and tabloids. Donna would either be an idiot or a whore depending on whether I seduced her or she slept her way into the job. And then we're off to the races- depending on how it plays, I'd either get a slap on the wrist or resign, and Donna'd be kicked to curb no matter what because we couldn't have someone so morally corrupt so close to the President now, could we? Not that it matters that none of what's been said is true, or that she didn't do anything wrong, or that she was more than qualified for the position, or that, heaven forbid, we're two consenting, heterosexual adults. No, because it's always an election year we have to remain above an impossible standard and protect this administration at all costs. Even when the cost is the woman I happen to be in love with!" He stops pacing and turns on his heel to face CJ, eyes blazing and chest heaving. "Did I cover all the bases there CJ?!" he practically yells. 

Wow. 

Josh has lost his temper before, but this- this is like nothing I've ever seen. It's raw emotion- nothing calculated, nothing planned, no end game in sight, he just simply lost it. And at CJ, no less! My money was on a Republican congressman. 

I glance at him, but his gaze is focused on CJ. There's something in the look that he's giving her that I don't understand, but CJ apparently does. I can't read her expression. Well, I can, but I don't think I'm reading it correctly. She almost looks compassionate, and, dare I say it, wistful.

What the hell is going on here?! Where'd that kick-ass feminista go? She's supposed to be smacking him upside the head and reaming him out. He said that he was in love me, for crying out loud!

Oh my god.

He's in love with me. 

I see Josh sit heavily down in the visitor's chair and bury his head in his hands. He's so tense, and I have the sudden urge to go over there and massage it out of him, but I curb it firmly when CJ's gaze settles on me. 

This cannot be good.

She starts to say something when Toby sticks his head in the room. CJ's not amused at being interrupted again. "Toby, this really isn't a good time."

"I don't care. I need to talk to Josh."

"Toby-"

"Now," he growls, more forceful than usual.

"Fine," CJ snaps and stalks past Toby into the bullpen. Upon Toby's look, I quickly follow out on her heels. 

Hearing the door close behind us, we make our way over to my work area. I sink down into my chair and lay my head on my folded arms on top of my desk. I feel a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. Have I mentioned how much I love CJ? She's so strong and confident, yet underneath that stoic exterior is the most passionate woman I know. When I was little I wanted to grow up into the kind of woman she is. CJ's the big sister I never had. She took me under her wing during the campaign, stepping in where Josh couldn't. Although I suspect he asked her to keep an eye on me, she never acted like I was an obligation. In fact, she was the first honest-to-god friend I'd had in a long time. She was even the one who told me that it was okay to give as good as I got when it came to Josh and his infamous sarcasm. 

But right now my head is spinning in so many directions I don't know which end is up, which is why I ask, "CJ, could you just give me a minute to process all of this? Please?"

God, did my voice sound as plaintive as I think it did?

CJ, god bless her, only leaves her hand on my shoulder and stays silent. When she sees that I'm beginning to bring my emotions under control she says quietly, "He wasn't lying when he said he was in love with you."

"Of course he didn't," I reply. "He’s a lousy politician in that respect- he hates to lie. I can tell when he does, anyway."

"Donna," she says, cutting off my babbling with a look.

Damn it, she has me pegged. With a sigh I finally say what's been running through my mind ever since I processed his words. "I know he didn't lie, but right now I'm afraid to believe the truth."

"You already do."

"Do I?"

"Yeah- in your heart. You just need to tell your brain to shut up."

That draws a smile from me, but it doesn't last. Casting a helpless look at her I ask, "Then where does that leave us?"

"There is no `us,'" says a cold voice from Josh's doorway. I turn around to see him and Toby standing there. Despite the harshness in his voice, one look at Josh's eyes tells me it's a lie. He looks as though his world is coming apart, and believe you me I know that look when I see it. 

I step towards him, but Josh stiffens. I stop, not sure what to do. Seeing that though must break something in him and in two quick strides I'm enveloped in his embrace. His arms are wrapped tightly around me, and my head is tucked securely in the crook of his neck. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers, before dropping his head down to my shoulder. "It's not that I don't want there to be an `us,' it's that there can't." 

He pulls back to look at me, and I can't help the tears that well up in my eyes. Rather than let him see them, however, I bury my head back under his chin. 

We stay like that for awhile, Josh simply holding me while a thousand questions run through my mind. Josh wouldn't look so completely lost if this were simply a matter of us creating a media scandal. There's something bigger going on, much bigger. Something that Josh only just now learned about from Toby, though you think if that were the case it'd be the other way around. Still, though, I'm pretty sure that's what just happened. I'm also fairly certain that CJ doesn't know what it is either, given her words earlier. 

So what it comes down to is that there is some big, dark, and scary unknown that makes a relationship between Josh and I appear like small potatoes waiting just around the corner to wreak havoc on us and bring the sky down crashing about our ears. 

Haven't we already suffered enough? We deserve some happiness, damn it!

We’re brought back to reality when Toby not so subtlety clears his throat. CJ and Toby had been standing there the whole time. I guess they were trying to give us a last goodbye of sorts, which is sweet of them in a twisted sort of way. 

Josh pulls back reluctantly, though not before dropping a kiss on the top of my head. "Go home," he tells me. "I don't expect you could find any funny tonight."

Wordlessly I gather up my stuff and make to leave, only to stop in front of the doors leading out to the foyer. I never told him I loved him back! Deciding the hell with Toby and CJ who are standing right next to him, I cross back over to Josh and bring his head down for a fleeting kiss before whispering "I love you too," against his lips. Just as suddenly I let go of the back of his neck and make a quick exit, leaving all three of them staring after me. When I make it to my car, I suddenly find myself on emotional overwhelm. `Find the funny,' huh? I have this sick urge to laugh out loud because I'm pretty sure that if I start crying, I won't be able to stop. 

*~Fin~*

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This was my first WW fanfic, so I would greatly appreciate feedback. Thanks for reading!


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